Chapter on Describing the Stations of Those Who Persist in Sin
Chapter: Description of the Stations of Those Who Persist [in Sin]
And by which the resolve toward tawba (repentance) is strengthened, and the abandonment of persistence in sins.
I said: Do those who persist [in sin] differ in that regard?
When he puts his heart to work in reflection through frightening [himself]—his Lord, Mighty and Glorious, frightening him—yet fear does not surge from him quickly due to the length of his heedlessness and his being veiled by it from the Hereafter, and hardness has become coarse in him, the fear does not surge from him quickly due to the length of his heedlessness and the coarseness of hardness in him.
Among them is one whose sins were few, and heedlessness did not persist long in him, nor was he veiled by it from the Hereafter.
And among them is one who repents from some of his sins while he persists upon what remains of his sins, and they are in the pursuit of fear at varying degrees.
I said: Distinguish between one whose affliction is great and whose heart's sickness has intensified, and between one other than him among the sinners.
He said: Indeed the Enemy has a deception through supplication at the onset of fear's pursuit, for one whose sin is great and whose heedlessness has been prolonged and in whom hardness has become coarse. When he puts his heart to work in reflection through frightening [himself] with what his Lord has frightened him, fear does not surge from him quickly due to the length of his heedlessness and the coarseness of hardness in his heart, because he has allowed his ailment to become chronic, so the remedy does not take effect in him quickly. Likewise with the people of this world regarding the ailments of their sins.
When one of them has been ill for a long time (and he has neglected his ailment), the remedy is of no avail if the disease has become intractable, except slowly. Likewise, one whose heart's sickness has lasted long and whose ailment has become intractable — takhwīf (intimidation through fear) will not avail him quickly. (And if intimidation does not avail him quickly), then the enemy [i.e., Satan] has a means of disheartening the nafs (the self), through supplication [to despair] at the point of seeking khawf (fear). So if intimidation does not avail him quickly, his self and his enemy call him to weariness and boredom, to turning away from reflection, and [they say] that he is not in your station, and that fear is not stirred in one such as you, and that you are only exhausting yourself — so that he abandons reflection and seeking, and adopts wishful thinking and procrastination, unless he is a person of intelligence and acuity. If he is intelligent and acute, he returns to it [the self] by rebuking it against its calling, and he says to it: The greatness of what is sought — namely salvation — and the greatness of what has befallen him of tribulation leading to the punishment of God [warrant perseverance].
Indeed, the generous [Lord] — exalted is He — may pardon; weariness and boredom remove [one from] the pursuit of fear, and they constantly impel one [away]. For this is indeed the station of one like me, since the fear of the disobedient is only through reflection and intimidation. [damaged]
But my ailment has become intractable, and the sickness of my heart has been prolonged, so the remedy is through reflection and intimidation, and it is more befitting for me, since my ailment has become intractable and my heedlessness has lasted long. If he persists in that, then fear will be stirred by God's permission.
An example of this from worldly life: when a disease becomes intractable, the patient is not cured except by persistence in treatment. And like a garment — when [its dirt] accumulates and becomes ingrained, it is not cleaned except by continuous washing. Likewise, the one who repents from some of his sins while persisting in others — some of what he persists upon may have overcome his heart, and his heedlessness regarding it has lasted long, and his habit has continued. The demand for fear concerning the consequence of his sin in such a case is arduous, though he is less than one who persists upon the greater part of his sins — except that he too needs persistence in reflection and repelling the deception of the self and the enemy by the like of that, until he mortifies his self with tawba (repentance), and feels remorse over the totality of what he has committed of sins, and resolves not to return [to them]. At that point, fear has indeed arisen in him.
I said: What about it?
Is regret over their totality sufficient for him, without knowing them specifically by their very instances?
He said: No, because many sins are concealed by hawā (caprice), and forgetfulness intervenes between the servant and them. The enemy [Satan] and the nafs (soul) also deceive him at that point, so that when he [thinks] he has overcome them, he arrives at regret and the resolve of tawba (repentance) from his sins, while being shown that he has no sins except those sins which he recalls at that moment.
Yet he may have many other sins that existed in his states during what has passed of his life — speech he does not consider sinful, or deeds he does not count as errors, or darkened [states] he does not see as darkened because of the dominance of caprice. It may be made to seem fair to him that he has repented of all his sins while he persists in most of them, or some of them, without realizing it. For at the time of fear, he is at his most obedient to his Lord, and no limb of his moves in what displeases his Master — yet even so, he can scarcely recognize all his sins at that very hour. If he were an intelligent, wakeful person of general awareness that he had sins in his states during what has passed of his life — and much of it was the same — then what was in him of heedlessness would obscure from him most of his sins: speech he engages in that he does not deem forbidden upon himself, or a resolve of the inner conscience toward evil that he did not see himself as being in error regarding. Rather, he may hear of someone who commits it and be astonished at the one who does it, while he himself does it — and he is [a repentant one] — without recognizing it.
Chapter on Knowing How to Remember by Knowing One's States
It was said to al-Harith — may God have mercy on him: How does one come to know them?
He said: One comes to know them by recollecting one's hours in what has passed of one's days, for one cannot know them except by that. And one recalls one's states in one's occupations in what has passed, examining how one's life was and what was in it — from the time one reached maturity or [committed] a sin before one's maturity. One reviews the days that have elapsed in one's lifetime, one's states during one's days, one's movements and one's silences, one's inner conscience regarding one's states. One recalls His anger and His pleasure — how one was therein — and His love and His hatred.
and he returned what was upon him (of right), and took what was his due — his earning, his spending, and his withholding; his speech and his glance and his listening; how his taking (had) been — was it by right or by injustice? And the grievances of the servants in his possession concerning their wealth and their honor; and the striking of his hand, and the steps of his foot, and his glance; and the rights of those whom right has obligated upon him for them.
And he recalls the grievances of the servants in his possession, like one who halts himself for retribution before meeting God, before the retribution before the hands of God. When he recalls how he was from the time he arose in the morning until he reached the evening in all of these states, and how he was when he reached the evening until he arose in the morning, he presents each limb to account — in shyness — for what was in the work of his night and his day, and how his qalb (heart) was regarding the righteous deeds he had been intending, and regarding what had been circulating, and what had been driving him to deeds, and how the resolutions of his conscience had been — from envy regarding the religion and other than it, and all the works of his heart. He recalls many rights belonging to God that he squandered through his negligence regarding them. Each time he recalls a right he has squandered, regret surges from his heart over what has passed of the rights of his Lord, and he is given resolve to fulfill it for God, exalted and majestic, in what remains of his life. And each time a sin he has committed passes before him, his grief and his regret surge, and he fears that it will be forever — so he is given resolve never to return to sin again. And raja' (hope) connects with khawf (fear), and it prevents him from despair, and he returns to himself by the remembrance of hope — that were it obligatory that he never see [forgiveness] forever, "I would not agitate my heart with hope, nor would it warm with tawba (repentance)." So hope and fear are surging in my heart.
And he is examining the rights of his Lord, right by right, and he is recalling his sins, sin by sin. When the remembrance of squandering God's rights increases, awe rises in his heart, and the remembrance of the number of sins that were from him increases. He does not recall a single day from his days in which the sun rose and then set without having preserved
He does not recognize that on any day of his days he guarded his tongue — a limb among his limbs — for the sake of God Most High, such that he reached the evening without uttering a word fearing the displeasure of God, Mighty and Glorious, therein, nor that his hearing and his sight were free from his missteps. Nor did he examine his qalb (heart) therein for a single day from morning until night, such that not a single glance of disobedience crossed it — neither riya' (ostentation), nor self-admiration, nor arrogance, nor envy — except that he detested them and was free of them, and so he would have devoted a day of his days purely to the obedience of his Lord, free of what overwhelmed him.
When he looks at the abundance of squandering the rights of God, Mighty and Glorious, and the persistence of abandoning ri'aya (observance), and the enormity of sins, and the multitude of grievances owed to people in his account — concerning their honor and their wealth — and the abandonment of ikhlas (sincerity) in the little that he used to do, he fears that the good may turn out to be confused. And with the squandering of the rights of God Most High and the enormity of sins, he may have fallen from the sight of God, Mighty and Glorious, and despair would mingle with his intellect — for he had been supposing that he was obedient to God. But when he examined himself and recalled his states, he learned that he had been stripped of much of his religion without knowing it.
His likeness is the likeness of a man who had great wealth in a locked chest. Someone stole what was in the chest and locked it back. So he remained strong of heart, delighted by what he believed to be in the chest. But when he opened the chest and did not see the wealth, he learned that it had been ruined without his being aware of it. His heart broke and he became certain of his poverty.
Likewise, this one who examines himself, inspecting his faults — when he becomes certain of his destitution, his heart is seized with alarm. Then he turns to the remembrance of the Possessor of generosity and nobility, and the prior bounties of God upon those who were greater in sin than him and longer in heedlessness — such as the sorcerers and others. Then he sees the traces of generosity and gracious favor in His sight, when he looks upon himself, the fear of which has already been stirred, and he recalls what has passed of sins, in order to purify himself from their defilements before meeting his Lord, Mighty and Glorious.